Saturday, November 9, 2013

what do you say?

Manners.  I love manners.  I love knowing, when my mind is in a whirl and my heart is breaking, that manners will at least enable me to function.  I am a huge believer in teaching children please and thank you and holding doors and not interrupting and all of those other things we learned in kindergarten.  I believe in practicing these things until they are as automatic as breathing.

My question today is how do you teach manners to an adult?  I know someone who is my age or thereabouts.  This person is educated and, I am sure, considers herself to be courteous.  She is - to other adults.

A child in her presence, when asked to perform a task, is expected to perform said task.  When the task is done, there is no acknowledgement unless, of course, it is done improperly.  This person is not related to me or I would just tell them to get their head out of their nether regions and be polite.

So, how do I achieve two things?  First, I want this person to be aware of how cold and distant they seem to the very people that they love.  Second, I want the child to know that her efforts are appreciated, that her efforts are noticed, and that not everyone is critical of every thing.


disclaimer:  for anyone who knows us, this is obviously NOT about my child.  Her manners are impeccable.


Sayre said...

I suppose that if you are on hand, you might make a comment about how well said task was done to the child. Maybe seeing the kids light up with praise will trigger something? EVERY living thing reacts better to praise and acknowledgment. Dogs, cats, horses, children, co-workers... it works for everyone.

Pamela said...

I guess it depends on how much you don't want to offend the said adult.

Maybe you should make some little flash cards -- and hold it up "THANK YOU." etc ha ha ha ah

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