Where have all the servers gone?

My daughter and I eat lunch out way more often than we should. We were both also brought up going to better-than-average restaurants. Our family has friends in the restaurant business.

We are both spoiled brats. I was raised by my parents. My child spent most of her formative years with her paternal grandparents. We are both used to getting what we want. We are both willing to pay for this privilege. Yes, this is where you pray for Shorty.

This tale starts about a month ago. We had lunch at one of our favorite restaurants. The waitress asked if I wanted dessert. I said that I would like a bowl of strawberries and some whipped cream. This is not on the menu but my husband has ordered this since the restaurant opened.

The waitress came back and said that they didn't have enough berries to do that and would I like anything else. I asked if they had strawberry shortcake and she said that, yes, they did. I asked for strawberry shortcake, hold the cake. She told me they couldn't do that. I said that of course they could.

The cook came out to tell me that they did not have enough berries for me to have just berries. I asked if they had enough berries for me to have strawberry shortcake. She said that they did. I said, fine, I would like strawberry shortcake, hold the cake. She huffed off and I got my bowl of berries.

Today, we had lunch at the same restaurant. Julie ordered chocolate meringue pie, no meringue. The waitress said, "We can't do that". Juls and I, simultaneously, said, "Of course you can". The waitress looked at us askance and I told her to just scrape the meringue off and throw it away. She went away, conferred with our regular waitress, and Julie got her meringueless pie.

We never ask to be charged less, or differently. We never ask them to go to a different restaurant to procur what we want although this was the norm when we were growing up. I just want to know when the customer ceased being right. When did it become the norm for a waitress to tell you that she "can't" do something? I understand some things are difficult. I understand that some things are outside her frame of reference. This does not make it impossible. Holding a piece of cake or scraping the meringue off of a piece of pie should not cause this much angst.

Better Living Through Chemicals

I have had several people ask me questions about parvo. Here is a link that I found helpful when Julie's pups (OK, they were actually Roxi's pups) got ill.


In a nutshell, parvo is a virus that can live in the ground. It can be destroyed by spraying the yard with a diluted bleach solution. You can be assured that any yard we ever have our dogs in will be treated first.


The adult dogs (Roxi, Bo, and Bug) did not get parvo because they are all fully vaccinated. The pups were too young to have had their first shots when they got sick.


I have several friends who are anti-vaccines and do not think chemicals should be introduced into a dog's system. I have always had my dogs fully vaccinated since we travelled so much. I had thought about cutting back on the number of things I have them vaccinated for but now? Yeah, I think our new mantra is "Better Living Through Chemicals".

Profile in Cowardice

I do not know his/her name and I have never seen him/her that I know of. Whoever used THIS dog, henceforth known as George, as a bait dog and then dumped him out in the country is more of a coward than anyone that I can think of.





George (named after General George Patton who owned a bull terrier named Willie) has been checked by the vet and is in pretty good shape. Should no one claim him, I am going to have a new yard dog. Everyone is getting along pretty well so far as you can see from this very boring (and isn't that a good thing?) video.





George showed up yesterday and, once Buddy escaped from the yard, he and Buddy played together very nicely. He is a bull terrier, about 1 1/2 years old, and un-neutered. He is very affectionate and friendly and lovable and I hope there is a special circle of hell for folks who abandon dogs. I'm pretty sure there is.





More to follow, I am sure.

Anti-non-specificity

I must confess. I am about to drag out my soapbox. Yes, Julie, you can sigh now.

I read a great many Memorial Day posts. The unanimous sentiment was gratitude for those who gave their lives in the service of their country.

There were also a great many bloggers and even more commenters who, while thanking the servicemen who died and their families, also decried war and declared themselves "anti-war".

No sane person wants war. I do not think, however, that one can be categorically "anti-war". There is always a battle worth winning, be it for freedom of religion or for freedom from tyranny or for life itself. If you are against the current war in Iraq, just say so. If you actually are against all wars, categorically and without exception, I stand in awe of your certainty.

Otherwise? Please just have the courage to stand up for your convictions and be aware that words count. Say what you mean.

Thanks.

Who Are You?

The other night, in class, we were discussing where we come from. The Catholic Church's history traces itself back, in a direct apostolic line, to the first Pope, Peter.


I was talking to the kids about family history and how it is important to know from whence we come. My daughter, who never ceases to amuse me (which is a good thing), claims to be Irish. OK. Works for me. My father was of German descent. My mother is of German, Swiss and French descent. Julie's paternal grandmother is of Italian descent. Her paternal grandfather was of Irish and French descent. Notice anything? Yeah, me, too. Irish is definitely not the most dominant ethnic background in Julie's history. Yet it is how she chooses to identify herself.


This caused me to wonder about Barack Obama. Barack Obama's father is a black man from Kenya. His mother is a white woman from a farm in Kansas. I do not know their ethnicity beyond this. Mr. Obama identifies himself as a black candidate. It is how he chooses to identify himself.



This is not nearly as much of an issue for me personally as the fact that he identifies himself as a Democratic candidate but I am not here to discuss politics.


I have eyes. Mr. Obama clearly looks like a person of color. I try to be understanding and compassionate and put myself in the other person's shoes. I cannot imagine growing up as the child of a mixed race marriage. It is just stuck in my brain, though, that this man, the grandchild of a Midwest farmer, is choosing not to identify himself as such but is identifying himself as the black candidate.


Maybe I have missed something and Mr. Obama has addressed this somewhere. If so, and you know where, please just point me in the correct direction.


Maybe, someday, none of it will matter. Maybe, someday, political campaigns will be decided on the written views of the candidates and not on their looks or ethnicity or sex.


Maybe. But in the meantime, I am curious. Who are you?

Fun Monday - Kicking the Bucket

Tiggerlane at the Neophyte Blogger is hosting Fun Monday this week!

Have you heard of The Bucket List? Well, that's what I want from you! Make a list of things you want to do before you die. It must be at least five items - and you can make it as long as you desire. Photos are optional. And let's hear about some of the wackiest, most bizarre to-do's on your Bucket List!

I thought this would be easier than it was. Oh, sure, I would love to win the lottery and cure cancer and secure world peace but then what would Miss America do?

I am, and I hesitate to use this word, contented with my life. I cannot think of anything I have done that I would do differently because then I would not be right here right now.

Having said that, if I found out that I was terminally ill, and money was no object, I would:

• Live on my sailboat. Summers in Monterey, CA and winters in Corpus Christi, TX
• Like almost everyone else that I know, have my novel published. You know, the one I haven't written yet.
• Endow a library.
• Travel abroad, to Tuscany, the south of France, Scotland, and the Black Forest in particular.
• Last but not least. I know this is not Christian. I know it is not kind. I know it would not put me on God's short list. I would break into San Quentin State Prison (where California's death row inmates live out their very long, government subsidized lives) and kill everyone on Death Row. It's California. What are they gonna do? Sentence me to death? I know, I know. I'm also pretty sure that as soon as I did this, they would find a cure for whatever disease I was dying of.

So there you have it. Proof that I am not nearly as nice, as kind, or as morally sound as I know I ought to be. #5 has been on my list since the two murderers who killed my uncle and were sentenced to die were released - yes, released! - when the California Supreme Court overturned the death penalty in 1972. In 1977, the death penalty was reinstated in California, although it would be 15 years before they actually executed anyone in 1992. The murderers who were released in 1972 were never rearrested nor resentenced - that whole double jeopardy thing, you know? Anyway, I just thought I would make sure that some other family did not have to go through what my aunt and my cousins did.

Provincialism

I have been reading "Boom" by Tom Brokaw. This book is a series of Mr. Brokaw's recollections and remembrances from the 1960s and early 70s. I was in grade school and high school during the period of time.

Today, my husband and I, along with Lil Man, watched "We Are Marshall". For any of you who don't know this story, it is the story of the Marshall (West Virginia) University football team. 37 members of the team, along with the coaching staff and 22 boosters perished in a plane crash in November of 1970. The movie is the story of the rebuilding of the team, the town, the university and the honoring of those players.

I was beginning my junior year of high school in November 1970.

I grew up in a very insular society. I attended 12 years of Catholic schools and the county that I grew up in was NOT racially diverse. I did not grow up uneducated. I studied current events in school. My parents subscribed to the local daily newspaper and on Sundays, we got the paper from "The City". We watched the nightly news on TV, all 15 minutes of it. I was a typical self-absorbed 16 year old.

I have no recollection of the story of the Marshall University plane crash. I have no recollection of a great many of the things that are in Mr. Brokaw's book.

I think that we were braver and more courageous for not having all of this knowledge. We truly were not aware of all of the pitfalls awaiting us. We knew that we were the brightest, the best, the boldest. We knew that we were the future.

I think it time that the right to know is tempered with the right to protect. The right to protect our children's dreams and hopes and spirits is ours. It just takes diligence and control. Yes, control. We have the right, the obligation, to control our children's lives until they have the ability and the knowledge to do it themselves. It is necessary for us to monitor their media input, their friends, their reading material. It is our job to remind them, and ourselves, that they are the best, the brightest, the boldest. They are the future and the world, the wonderful world, rife with possibilities and opportunities, is theirs.

It is not necessary to know everything about everybody, everywhere, every second of every day. History is often a lesson best learned when it is history and not still current events.

What Constitutes News?

Bermuda Bluez posted yesterday about the tragic news story where the father killed his 4 children. I mentioned, in my comment, that I was not sure why we had to get all of the news all of the time. I remember when I was a child, getting national and international news (and it basically pertained to nations) every night on TV but local news was obtained via your local daily newspaper.

I thought later that I sounded awfully coldhearted. I also thought that maybe I was misremembering my childhood. That happens more and more the older I get.

I started reading Tom Brokaw's "Boom" today. In the first chapter, Tom talks about when he got his first job on the national news in 1962. ABC did not yet have nightly news. CBS had Walter Cronkite and NBC had the Huntley-Brinkley Report. They each had 15 minutes of news in the evening. 15 minutes.

No wonder news seemed more important then. With only 15 minutes, the stories chosen were those stories that had world impact. Not every horrific story meritted national news coverage.

I know that knowledge is power. I know that we, the empirical we, are destined to repeat history if we don't learn from it. I know that I do not watch the 2 hours of dinner time news available in my area. I do not watch the 1 1/2 hours of morning news available in my area (this is not the 'morning show'), it is the morning news.

I am horror-stricken that 4 children died at the hands of the person they should have been able to trust the most. I am horror-stricken by at least 3 stories every day. Do I think that these stories are national news? No, I do not. I think that they are, and it grieves me to use this word, fillers.

I think that "news" programs cost less to produce than dramas or comedies or decent children's programming. I think that "news" programs are easier to produce than dramas or comedies or decent children's programming. I think that if you click on the "Top Stories" button on whatever home page you have and read the first five entries, you will have absorbed everything that the media is going to regurgitate all over your nightly news.

Unfortunately, my larger semi-local newspaper has started taking this same easy way out. The front page of this newspaper, which is published in a city 50 miles from me, has the same 5 entries as my computer. Yes, there is local news inside but, you know what?

I want to read about the local stock show on the front page. I want to read about the kindergarten class learning to pour tea for the senior citizens at the assisted living center. I want to read about 4H scholarships and high school academic standings and who's kid is on the honor roll. I am blessed because I do have this in my local small-town newspaper.

I am not uninformed. I make it my business to stay informed. I do not believe that the mainstream media, print or electronic, is the best source of objective information. I listen to 30 minutes of news a day. I read the small town newspaper in my hometown, in the town where my mom currently lives, in the towns where I used to live and I read the small town newspapers in towns where the national media thinks that there is "news".

I don't know that this would work for everyone, but it helps me keep my sanity and my spirit.

Does Good = Not Bad?

My husband and I actually escaped for a while today - just the two of us. We had to go and get my military ID card renewed before it expired next week and since the weather was not conducive to work today, it was a good day to go. I had to take my husband with me because he is my "sponsor". That always sort of makes me feel like a foreign exchange student or something, but there you have it.

Anyway, mission accomplished and on the way home, we stopped for brunch. We are restaurant newspaper readers. This makes my daughter nuts. She thinks it is rude. She wasn't there and we know we're not being rude to each other. I was reading the funnies and got to my very favorite:

One of the reasons I love this cartoon is because it is twisted and it makes me think. Lil man has been having behavior problems at school. His grades are excellent. His conduct is not. I was talking to him about this last night and asked him what the consequences were when he was bad. He said, "swats". His school gives swats, although how he has escaped thus far this year is beyond me. I asked what the consequences were when he was good and he did not know. So - this week, if he gets no bad marks at all, not even a warning, he and I and his Grampits are going to the movies to see the Alvin movie. If you knew my husband, you would know how surprised I was when, after he heard me make the deal with lil man (for just lil man and me), said that he would go also.

Today - no bad marks, not even a warning. Keep the lil man in your prayers, please, for success this week.

His school does give marks also for good behavior and his mother rewards him for those. I don't think he had ever put actions and consequences together in his mind as being something good also.

His behavior recently, combined with the cartoon strip this morning, makes me wonder: Is not being bad the same as being good?

I don't think so. I think that good is an action. I think that if you want to raise a good person, you cannot settle for a child who is just "not bad". I think that in order to be good, there are things you must do - that you cannot settle for just being not bad.

The Church that I belong to recognizes sin and guilt, repentance and forgiveness. It also recognizes both corporal (bodily) and spiritual works of mercy. I am not sure that the lil man is learning this at school. So, thanks to Non Sequitur for reminding me of my actions and consequences.

Headline from CNNPolitics.com

"Kennedy aide: Romney's views on religion very different from JFK's"

You think? Catholic? Mormon? Views on religion different?

Evil or a Poor Choice?

When did wrong become a poor choice? When did a choice cease being wrong? Where did right go?

I posted a couple of days ago about trying to explain Hitler and swastikas (and what they symbolize) to an 8 year old. I became involved in a conversation about the same topic and said that I had told lil man that the swastika was a bad sign.

The person I was talking to, let’s call them George, said there were no bad signs, just like there were no bad people. There were just people who had made poor choices.

I waited a couple of minutes so that I would not just erupt and then asked George if he did not think that Hitler was evil. He said no, that no one was evil, that Hitler had just made some poor choices, that evil did not exist.

I was dumbstruck.

I know that philosophically, I tend to oversimplify things. I always have.

In my world, where God reigns supreme, there is good.

Having said that, there is also evil.

Whether we choose to invite that evil into our lives is indeed our choice. I do think, though, that evil needs to be identified as evil. I think that characterizing Hitler, for example, as someone who made poor choices is minimizing the evil that the man wrought. It is also, conversely then, minimizing the good that is God.

I think Hitler, and his legacy, epitomize evil in 20th century history.

I hope that, at the end, he repented of his sins and, doubt not, they were sins.

Only God is huge enough to love and forgive such darkness.

I am not. I cannot understand such evil. I cannot imagine inviting such darkness into your soul and mind. I cannot conceive of not recognizing evil as evil.

Here is how Webster defines evil:
Main Entry: 1evil Pronunciation: \'ē-vəl, British often & US also 'ē-(ˌ)vil\ Function: adjective Inflected Form(s): evil·er or evil·ler; evil·est or evil·lest Etymology: Middle English, from Old English yfel; akin to Old High German ubil evil Date: before 12th century
1 a: morally reprehensible : sinful, wicked b: arising from actual or imputed bad character or conduct 2 aarchaic : inferior b: causing discomfort or repulsion : offensive c: disagreeable 3 a: causing harm : pernicious b: marked by misfortune : unlucky
— evil adverb archaic
— evil·ly \-(l)ē\ adverb
— evil·ness \-nəs\ noun

Morally reprehensible; sinful; wicked

Yep, just sounds a little more serious than “poor choices”, doesn’t it? Is that what happened?

When we, as a society, became more concerned with a child’s self-esteem than with their moral fortitude, did we just ease away from all the words that made US uncomfortable?

Maybe it’s time for us to say, “What you did was wrong. That was bad. That is a sin.” instead of ,"You could have made a better choice.”

I don’t have the answers.

I just know that, as sure as I am that there is good, there is evil.
As sure as I am that there is God, there is Satan.

“The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing.” Irish politician Edmund Burke (1729 – 1797).

Presumptions

Presumptions of innocence
Presumptions of danger

While dressing this morning, the ABC news was on. There was a bit about the police and how they forced this pregnant woman to the ground and how they (the police) then decided to “cover it up”.

I was unaware until I looked the incident up online that it occurred in July.

I am sure that this woman was frightened, shocked, and scared. She has my sympathy.

So do the officers involved.

What I know after listening to the GMA coverage:
JC Penney called the police dept and told the dispatcher that a green jeep was just leaving that had been involved in stealing cars from the JCP lot. The caller gave the license plate and the owner’s name. The officers pulled the vehicle over and forced the woman at gunpoint to lie on the ground. When they realized that the vehicle they had stopped was not the suspect vehicle for which they were looking, they helped her up, apologized profusely, engaged her in conversation, and assisted her until such time as she was calm enough to drive. They then got in their patrol car and began plotting a cover-up.

What I know after reading the newspaper accounts and listening to the 911 recordings:
An employee of JCPenney called the Police Department and told the dispatcher that a green jeep was just leaving that had been involved in stealing cars from the JCP lot. The caller gave the license plate. The dispatcher ran the plate for wants, warrants, and registration. She dispatched the call and provided the officers with the registration information. The officers saw the vehicle, activated their emergency lights and affected a stop on the vehicle. Per procedure on any felony stop that I have EVER heard about, the officers, for their own safety, did not approach the vehicle. They directed the driver to get out and, again for their own protection from a suspected felon (and yes, pregnant women have committed felonies), directed the driver to assume a prone position on the shoulder of the road.

This is an audio clip of the original call to dispatch and the dispatch of the call to the officers:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1243803227/bclid1264582000/bctid1264581996

This is an audio/video clip of the traffic stop from the video camera in the officer's patrol vehicle:
http://link.brightcove.com/services/link/bcpid1243803227/bclid1264582000/bctid1264581996

They checked the vehicle for other occupants and determined that there were two children in the backseat. The officer was very polite and attempted to comfort the children. As soon as he determined that he had the wrong vehicle, he apologized, more than once.

At no time did the officers involved display any other than professional conduct.

They did NOT stop the vehicle because the driver was black.
They did NOT have the driver assume a prone position because she was black.

They stopped the vehicle because they had information, through their dispatcher, that the vehicle was possibly involved in a felony.

They had the driver assume a prone position because they had reason to believe that she was possibly involved in a felony.

Yes, one of the officers made a comment, once in the patrol car, about covering their ass. CYA, as it is commonly known in police and other circles, is NOT the same as a cover-up. It is beyond me how anyone, given the existence of dispatch tapes and video from the patrol car, can even begin to believe that there is, or was, a cover-up.

Now for the soapbox:

The public hears these stories and assumes that the citizen is right. We all, and I include myself for the most part, look at people with a perception of goodness. We presume that most people are good.

The police must, for their own safety and for ours, look at people a little differently. They must, for their own safety and for ours, presume, especially during a felony traffic stop, that there is danger.

I actually speak from personal experience in this case and from both sides simultaneously.

In 1976, I was pregnant with my youngest child. I was employed, as a dispatcher, by a Police Department. I was traveling with my husband, in our pickup truck, on the freeway. Unbeknownst to us, a bank robbery had occurred about 70 miles north. The suspect vehicle description matched ours. We were pulled over on the highway. My husband (the son of a highway patrolman and a reserve police officer for the same department for which I worked) was, exactly as in the above referenced video, directed to keep his hands in view, drop the keys, exit the vehicle, back toward the officer and assume a prone position on the ground. I was directed likewise (minus the key deal) once he was on the ground. Only when we were both secured and identified did the officers release us and apologize.

We did not sue.

We did drive our other car for about a week!

My point is that the police are not always wrong. They are not always right. Just because they stop a driver, who is black, does not mean that they stopped a driver because he/she is black. They can only do the best that they can do, which is usually damn good, based on the information that they have. I think, in this case, that is exactly what they did.

Please read a book this month!

I guess I should just call this soapbox Wednesday and be done with it....or maybe next week I'll go for Wordless Wednesday....or maybe I'll just quit reading the flippin' news!


http://www.cnn.com/2007/LIVING/wayoflife/08/21/reading.ap/index.html


The next time someone asks you what is wrong with this country, just refer them to the above-referenced article.