It's a crying shame...

Courtesy of Webster's online:



Main Entry: 1shame

Pronunciation: 'shAm

Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, from Old English scamu; akin to Old High German scama

shame1 a : a painful emotion caused by consciousness of guilt, shortcoming, or impropriety b : the susceptibility to such emotion

2 : a condition of humiliating disgrace or disrepute : IGNOMINY

3 a : something that brings censure or reproach; also : something to be regretted : PITY b : a cause of feeling shame



2 weeks ago, my grandson, who is 7, did something shameful.



His babysitter called me and I called his mom and then his grampits. We all talked to him. I was not privy to what his mom said but I can tell you that his grampits and I both said, at different times, that we were disappointed, sad, hurt, confused, angry, upset and mad. We both said, at different times, that we did not understand but that he needed to know that his actions affected not just himself, but everyone who loves him. We did not seem to be getting through.



My daughter, an excellent mom, took him to visit with our priest. My grandson has known our priest for almost 1/2 of his life and loves him. Father John told the little man that when he acts in that way it makes Fr. John ashamed to be his friend. Father John got through.



This got me to thinking. Am I so afraid of scarring the child's psyche that I forgot about shame? and guilt? and sin? Shame is an honorable emotion. Guilt is an honorable consequence. Sin is a dishonorable separation from God. Maybe by being so conscious of the baby's (yes, I know he's 7 - he will always be the baby) ego and self-esteem, I have been neglecting his conscience and his soul.



I know that I am not his mother. I am not solely responsible for his upbringing. I am, however, family, and as grandma, at least as responsible as my Mom was for my kids. Thank God, and I do, for such a wonderful example.