Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Is There a Doctor in the House?

It has been a difficult past few weeks for me. This is due in part to circumstance and a great deal to my own stupidity. My doctor left town last year. I take one prescription, once a day, and my scrip was good till February of this year.

Well, February came and went and my drugs ran out. I did not want to find a new doctor. I hate changing doctors. I already know that I'm fat and that I need to lose weight and that being fat is hard on my heart, etc. The funny part is that I am basically healthy. I do not have high blood pressure or diabetes or anything else wrong with me that's weight related.

My old doctor told me once that the drug I take is cumulative and it would take about 6 months to actually zero out the levels in my bloodstream. I decided that's what I would do and that during that 6 months, I would lose enough weight to not have to hear about it from a new doctor. Yeah.

6 months is gone. I have lost no weight. I am starting to feel just generally gravity ridden and crappy. I have to find a new doctor. Fine.

Within the last 3 weeks, 4 people that I know or know of, have died. They have been 3 women aged 54, 49, and 45ish respectively. They have died of complications of diabetes, cancer, and a long illness respectively. They have left behind grown children and a granddaughter(legal guardian) in 3rd grade, a 3 year old with Downs Syndrome, and a 14 year old daughter respectively.

The 4th person? The husband of wife #3, the father of the 14 year, the coward who could not bear life without the love of his life and ran his motorcycle into a concrete abutment, orphaning his child.

Please pray for the respose of the souls of the dead. Please pray for the families of the dead and for their children.

Please pray for me as I realize that I have been as much of a suicidal coward in my own small way as that idiot husband/father. To my husband, children, and grandchildren, I apologize. To my God, I humbly request forgiveness, understanding, and the grace and courage to do better. To all who came here for a chuckle, maybe tomorrow.


Junebug said...

I will pray. I like your Queen of the Vineyard name. We all need to do better in the consistency department of taking better care of our health. It's so much easier to put things off, I do it all the time.

bermudabluez said...

You will be in my prayers as well. We all procrastinate. You are not alone. I'm sorry for your losses.

nikki said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you sweetie.

Anglophile Football Fanatic said...

Oh, that's horrible. I'm so sorry. Esp. about the coward. My dad's uncle did that when his aunt died unexpectedly. I feel for you. Tough time, S.

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