I have a wonderful relationship with my youngest daughter. We both work at it and we both appreciate it. I had a difficult relationship with my mother from which I learned to never slam a door shut with my daughter. I have a difficult relationship with my ex-mother-in-law for a myriad of reasons, not the least of which was mostly my fault.
Having said that, my mother was a wonderful grandmother. She loved both of my girls unconditionally which is not to say that she didn't have expectations. She just loved them.
My ex-mother-in-law manages to make my child feel less than. That's it - just less than. She is not a happy woman and it shows.
I have been disappointed with one of my granddaughters and I have distanced myself from her. I was talking about this today with my daughter and she very subtly asked me which kind of grandmother I wanted to grow up to be.
I, of all people, know that people do change. They grow up. They make better decisions. They regret the decisions they previously made. They deserve, especially from their grandmothers, unconditional love.