Lent is over and I feel like a failure. I gave up coffee for Lent. I used to drink coffee like most people drink water. Seriously. I used to drink roughly 4 pots of coffee a day.
When I gave up coffee, it was rough for the first couple of days. I went to the World Market and bought some good tea. I bought PG Tips which is not common here but evidently is in the UK, at least according to their advertising. I love it. It got me through Lent without feeling truly deprived.
I know, I know. That is not the point of Lent. We are supposed to feel deprived. And I did, truly. There were times when I would walk into a place and smell a fresh pot of coffee brewing that I nearly caved. There were times, like when I would go to the big city with my daughter and we would come home without stopping at Starbucks, that I nearly caved. There were times when I was stressed and reached for the magic elixir that I nearly caved. There was the one time, when I first started my new job and one of my coworkers graciously brought me a coffee along with hers, that I nearly caved.
Maybe I was deprived.
Anyway, this morning, after Mass, I got home and made a fresh cup of coffee. I gathered up the Sunday papers and my coffee and sat down. It tasted like crap. I did not enjoy the taste of it at all.
Now I am thinking that I did not like coffee at all. I think I was drinking coffee merely out of habit and no longer out of enjoyment.
Lent is over and I gave up something I don’t even like. I’m sure glad that God understands my heart
