Nov 9

At work and sick...just didn't want to miss a day. 

November 8

Nov 7/Starbucks

Last week, Starbucks unveiled their holiday cup.  It is, as always, red.  That's it.  It's red.  Normally, it is red with some sort of embellishment - leaves or snowflakes or ornaments.  This year it's just red.


I have no problem with this.


A lot of people evidently do.  This is some sort of subversive, anti-Christian plot to take Christmas away from us.


Seriously?


It's just a cup, folks.  It's red.  Take your magic marker and put whatever the heck you want on it.

Nov 6

I drove down to Amarillo today to get my military ID card renewed. I'm also going to go to a photography exhibit with my daughter while I'm here. And I remembered how many things make me smile. Molly dragging my $40 blanket around because she's decided it's her bed made me smile today - it went from my bedroom to the living room to the sunroom where hopefully it will stay for the rest of the day. The sight of two Osprey hovering above Bell Helicopter made me smile and feel protected. Sitting in a warm car and watching the wind blow made me smile. I think I'm getting better.

Nov 5/friends

Many, many years ago in a galaxy far, far away there existed people known as bloggers.  I was one - hence, the blog.  It was an interesting time to be alive.  Through synergy and synchronicity and sometimes just luck, you were able to find people that you connected with.


They might not live near you.  They might not be your age.  They might not have anything at all in common with you except one teeny, tiny thing.  They became your friends.  We wrote our stories and other people read them and commented on them - not just one or two word comments but entire sentences.  Sometimes even paragraphs or, if the thought was a private one, an email might be sent.


I have not blogged for a long time.  I have been seduced by the ease of Facebook.  Thankfully, so have most of my blogging buddies and we have managed to keep in touch through Facebook. 


I received private messages on Facebook today from not just one, but two of my blogging buddies just to check on me because I didn't sound like me.


I love you both.


Thank you.

Nov 4/the party's over

That would be the pity party, y'all.  Not my style. Not going to wallow in it long enough for it to become my style. Today was a lovely gloomy fall day and when the wind swirled,  there were colored leaves dancing upon it. Life is good.

Nov 3/Kill or no-kill

This is where I stir up a hornet's nest I didn't even know I had to think about.  No kill shelters for animals - good thing, right?  Shouldn't even be an issue, right?  I thought that for years.  Now?  I'm not so sure.


I adopted Molly 4 months ago.  For the 4 months prior to that, she was at a shelter.  Prior to that, she had been abandoned, with her sister, when the people who owned them moved.  Her collar had to be surgically removed at that time.


I keep waiting for Molly to become mine.  Molly is not mine.  She does not greet me when I get home.  She does not hang out in the same room that I am in, ever.  She does not consistently come when called and, if she does, lingers just out of reach.  She does not come to me when I cry.


She does not do these things for anyone else, either.


She bolts for the bedroom if a door slams anywhere in the neighborhood.  She will not go through a doorway if the shadows have changed from the first time she went through it.  She lives in constant fear.  She is with me at night only because, in her mind, my bedroom is her room.  It is where she hides.


I have never seen a less happy dog.


I am not suggesting killing her.  I am merely putting forth the theory that if the no-kill shelter does nothing other than keep the animals alive, it might be doing them a disservice.


As for me and Molly - we will keep on keepin' on.

November 2

Things are grey right now.  I have a dog who is not at all demonstrative which bothers me more than it should.


I have a dear friend in California who is having medical problems.  I am trying to figure out how to go see her while seeing her is still an option.


I also have a husband with medical issues for whom I cannot care.  We separated several years ago.  To the best of my knowledge, he has since stopped the behavior which was the reason for my leaving.  However, he has since joined an outlaw motorcycle club.


This is a huge issue to me.  I cannot be around this kind of crap.


Meanwhile, he has stage 5 kidney disease and will soon begin dialysis, which requires minor surgery and then a month of almost constant dialysis (in home) before it becomes something that must just be done every night.


I cannot be there.  I have so many times over the years given in, given up, just plain given to him.  I cannot be there.


So, I will, as next of kin, go to his doctor's appointments with him.  I will go to dialysis training with him.  I will be there for his surgery.


So will his "friend" who will be in my house taking care of him.


I feel like Eeyore and the Saggy Baggy Elephant had a child and I am it.

I miss the Duck

Molly will never be the Duck.  That's fine.  She can just be Molly.  But yesterday, when I was crying and she looked at me and left the room,  I missed the Duck.